Ndianabasi Ikobong: Managing Your Expectations

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At the beginning of the year, you held high expectations that something would work out in your favour but unfortunately, things did not entirely go as planned. You are now holding onto an unsatisfactory outcome. You find it difficult to come to terms with unfulfilled promise and expectations.

Many times you hang on to your disappointments. This leads to self-doubt, dejection, discouragement and in many cases depression. You have to understand that your expectations are dependant on other factors that you do not have total control of. Therefore it is important to cave ways of managing them properly.

How then can you manage your failed expectations?

1) ACKNOWLEDGE HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT THE SITUATION

If you are feeling disappointed, then admit it honestly. Ask yourself:
a) What really happened?
b) What should have happened?
c) Why am I feeling disappointed about this?
d) Was I blaming myself, others or circumstances?
e) Was I searching for excuses?
f) How have these thoughts hindered me?

Clarifying why exactly you feel disappointed about your situation will help you to better understand your thoughts and yourself.

2) TIME TO QUERY YOUR EXPECTATIONS
It is about time for your to access closely the expectations you had before these events and circumstances took place. Ask yourself:
a) What expectations did I have about myself?
b) What were the expectations of other people in these circumstances?
c) Were my expectations realistic?
d) Were my expectations trivial or inflexible?
f) Were my expectations too narrow minded?
g) Were my expectations selfish?
h) Do my expectations set me up for disappointments?
i) Maybe there is a silver lining somewhere … What could that be?

Your unrealistic expectations will prevent you from learning and growing from these experiences.

3) TAKE TIME TO LEARN FROM YOUR EXPERIENCES.

Ask yourself;
a) What can I learn about myself?
b) What can I learn about my perspective of the situation?
c) What can I learn about how I set my expectations?
d) What can I learn from this that would help me change my approach the next time around?

These questions should open your eyes to new perspectives and possibilities. Challenge yourself to think objectively about these circumstances. You should gain clarity to start figuring things out.

4) MODIFY YOUR EXPECTATIONS AND OBJECTIVES.

Modify your expectations at this stage. When you do that, you begin to see things more clearly and rationally. This will help you to alter your objectives. Maybe you initially aimed a little too high and too quickly. A modified objective will provide you with realistic targets you can work towards.

It is the eighth month of the year. It is never too late to refocus your strategy to meet your expectations. All you need now are resources to work through your predicament and achieve your desired objectives.

You already have everything you need to turn your disappointments into a positive and empowering experience. Cultivate optimism, patience, gratitude and enthusiasm. Laugh at your disappointments. It will help you relax and stimulate creative thought, insights and ideas.

Again welcome to August 2020.

Ndianabasi Ikobong

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